Praise and Patience

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.  - Galatians 5:22-23

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.  - Galatians 5:25

I apologize that it's been a while since my last post.  I had really good intentions to keep this blog updated regularly, and I still intend to do just that, but I'm sure that you can understand when I say that I have a ton of catching up to do at home. There are many balls that I dropped during Haven's hospital stay.  So, I have spent much time getting our home back into order, assessing our children's school work, completing a ton of paperwork, catching up on church work, and looking at curriculum for the 2013-2014 school year.  I've also been rescheduling appointments, restocking our cupboards, purchasing birthday gifts for a couple of lovely young ladies, and planning fun activities for our wonderful children who have been so patient during this time.  Thankfully we started school in late July last year, so even  with the delay we should easily have all work completed before the end of the first week in June. Hooray!  I pray that we will then have time to relax and spend time together as a family.

It was especially nice to spend some time with my sister and her two boys recently.  Haven adores babies.  She really likes to touch Becky's baby Eli.  What a fun time we have together!  I just had to include this photo of Haven and my nephew Max checking each other out.  Too funny!

This has been a busy time in other regards as well.  On the Saturday before Mother's Day, I spoke at our church's Mother - Daughter Banquet.  It was such a blessing for me to be able to share a tiny bit about what God has done in Haven's life from before her 'Gotcha Day' through her surgery, stroke diagnosis, and readjustment to being home.  It was a difficult thing to do with my emotions on overdrive and with the events of the past couple of months still swimming in my mind, but I just feel so compelled to publicly praise God for all HE is doing in Haven's life and ours.  The photo below is of the girls and I as we practice a song we prepared to share at the banquet.

We celebrated Haven's first 'Gotcha Day' on May 14.  We decided to take Haven to her favorite Chinese buffet restaurant where she ate bowl after bowl of noodles.  After the meal, we came back to our home to watch home movies of Haven's first moments with our family.  I am so thankful for how well Aaron documented our time in China.  Even stuff that I found stupid at the time is now interesting to us.  Yes, Dear, You.  Were.  Right.  (He's never going to let me live this down!)  The kids talked about their favorite memories of our time in China as well.  It was such a fun evening!  The temple in the background of the last two photos is called the Temple of Heaven.  We actually saw that temple in Beijing while we were in China.  It's funny to us that there is a photo of that temple at our local Chinese restaurant!  I've added a few photos of our China trip and then some of our Gotcha Day celebration.

Aaron and I with Haven about 20 minutes after seeing her for the very first time.  She was tired, hot, and thirsty!

Haven and Mama right after I managed to get her to sit on my lap for the first time.  I was on the floor because that is where Haven was comfortable.

Our first family photo with Haven.  This was taken in the lobby of our hotel.

Haven's official adoption decree.

A walk in a beautiful park in Nanning, China was the perfect way to help our girl feel comfortable. 

Here we have the Walker Five at the Chinese restaurant where we celebrated the anniversary of Haven's Gotcha Day!  This was taken just a couple of weeks ago.

I just love Haven's happy face!  Can you see her dimples?

Love this family!

See?  I told you we saw this temple in China!  Notice Levi and me in the front of the photo.  The sky is overcast because that's how the sky looks all of the time in Beijing.

Our sweet little Eden turned eight years old on May 16.  We spent a couple of days doing fun things to celebrate her. She received some beautiful new bedding for her bed and speakers for her ipod.  Suddenly we are hearing much more music blasting around our home!  My favorite part of Eden's birthday was our Mommy/Eden date.  We ate at Panera Bread and went shopping.  It was so much fun!

Eden in Nanning, China in May of 2012 celebrating her birthday with her Chinese birthday cake.  It was a special day!

The incredible Walker children....my cup overflows with love for these kiddos!

Who doesn't want to lick the plate clean when there is ice cream still on it?

This is pretty much the result after most meals.  We are still working on feeding skills!

Aaron and I with our sweetie Eden (or Lulu as we like to call her).  I can't believe she turned eight!  It was fun to celebrate her birthday at home this year.  Last year we were in China with her new sister for Eden's birthday.  Eden said that Haven was her best gift ever!

Haven really enjoys heisting our phones.  Here she is playing a toddler game on mine.  Check out what Levi has in his hand in the background.  That kid is incredible at video games.  I can't say that I'm proud of that fact or that I've encouraged it!

Therapy seems to be going well at Akron Children's.  Haven continues to improve, but not as rapidly as she did at first.  Sometimes it is so difficult to be patient while waiting for Haven to make more improvement.  I find myself growing weary of the waiting, then I stop and remember how far we've come and I find that I am more at peace.  I have so many hopes for our daughter.  I hope that people will be able to understand her speech, and I hope that she will walk smoothly without listing to one side.  I hope that she will be able to look back on this time in her life and say, "It is Well With My Soul."  Obviously, I'm still learning lessons about taking life one day at a time.  Losing one day per week to therapy is difficult to manage when you have four children who want to do activities as well.  This week I was beginning to freak out about our schedule next year and literally two days later God worked it all out!  So, I'm still learning and growing throughout this experience.  It's not over yet either!  We just learned last week that Haven is facing about another year of once per week therapy for speech and we are still waiting to hear about PT and OT.  Through it all, I find that I am just so weak and need to lean on my Savior for strength.  No, this is not what we wanted Haven's life (or ours) to look like for the next year.  We were thrilled when we thought her heart surgery was the end of our running to doctor appointments.  We plan and God laughs, right?  I have so much more growing to do and I am blessed that I serve a God who loves me and holds my life in His almighty hands!  I'm thankful that He forgives my weakness and supplies strength when I have none left.  I'm humbled that He loves me through it all and works things together for good.  May His great name be praised!

Sleep is a Beautiful Thing

Psalm 121

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;

From where shall my help come?

My help comes from the Lord,

Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to slip;

He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He who keeps Israel

Will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;

The Lord is your shade on your right hand.

The sun will not smite you by day,

Nor the moon by night.

The Lord will protect you from all evil;

He will keep your soul

The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in

From this time forth and forever.

Well, we are home now.  As Levi says with a look of disbelief on his face, "Hey, Mom...We're all together as a family again!"  It's true.  And it's wonderful.  And exciting.  And challenging.

After arriving home on Friday evening, I think I finally realized just how tired and run down I was. So, instead of conquering the loads of laundry that awaited me or cleaning the bathrooms that were screaming for attention, I rested without even unpacking my suitcase.  Saturday was truly our first day off in almost seven weeks.  (Yes, it's true that we had been home several weekends before, but I was busily running errands each weekend.)  My wonderful husband left me alone on Saturday morning and for the first time in many, many, many years I slept until noon!  I didn't intend to, but I guess that's what happens when you are taking allergy medication, you have been sleep deprived for seven weeks, and you don't set an alarm.  I will admit that the sleep felt wonderful, but I did feel terribly guilty that I got to sleep in and Aaron didn't.  Anyhow, after sleeping it was nice to have some long-awaited family time, however, we quickly realized that having everyone under the same roof again is going to take a period of adjustment.    

Sunday was a blur.  What a privilege it was to worship in God's house!  After church, we enjoyed lunch at Arby's and ran a few errands.  When we got home, Aaron and I both laid down to take a nap.  We slept for about an hour and a half!  It felt so good!  When we woke up, Micah commented that he hadn't seen me much because I've been sleeping all weekend.  As guilty as I felt, I knew it was necessary to rest because I'm not a decent mom if I'm tired and cranky.  Aaron and I enjoyed time playing outside with our youth group on Sunday night and then we went to sleep - again!  

Monday was where the challenging part came in.  By the time Monday rolled around, I was weary of living in squalor  Our house looked like a bomb went off, our children needed long-overdue help with school work, and my Littles were back to their usual competitiveness and hourly foraging for snacks.  Everyone seemed to need my attention all day long.  I didn't manage to get the house completely cleaned up or the school work all done, but I did manage to get dinner on the table...at 6:45 in the evening.  Haha!  Overall it was a good day.  

Tuesday was pretty similar to Monday, only a little less stressful.  I managed to calm down around 11 a.m. after we mostly had the house back in order.  It literally took us 2 days to get things picked up, but it was worth every second.   I am so thankful that my wonderful husband was able to come home to a clean house this evening.  He said, "Wow, it's amazing that just having the house cleaned makes you more cheerful."  Aaron recognized immediately that all of us were in a much better mood because of it this evening.  I'm thankful for all of his hard work.  He was quite the laundry champ last evening!  

So, now that I've had time to reflect on these past few days, I am thankful for all that God is still teaching me.  I've learned that I have much learning to do in regards to parenting.  I've also learned that my people really need me around here.  Actually, that feels pretty good.  I've relearned that I have really great kids who need a leader - that's me - to help them through life's hiccups and roadblocks.  I'm privileged to have those five beautiful blessings in my life.  The highlight of my time home thus far was watching all five of my children 'catching a rabbit' for their brother Levi outside at dusk.   (Don't worry, I knew all along they'd never catch that rabbit.  Have you seen them?  They are super fast!)  The sun was glowing on their hair and in their eyes as they chased that rabbit around the back yard while laughing and calling to one another.  It was a beautiful thing to see them working together, enjoying one another's company, and worry-free for the first time in awhile.  It made me even more thankful to be present here at home with them again.  Finally, I've learned that sometimes it's okay to sit down and take a break.  Psalm 121 tells us that our amazing God doesn't require sleep.  Jokingly, Aaron and I always quote Proverbs 6:9-11 to one another when we rest.  

How long will you lie down, O sluggard?

When will you arise from your sleep?

"A little sleep, a little slumber,

A little folding of the hands to rest"--

Your poverty will come in like a vagabond 

And your need like an armed man.  

~Proverbs 6:9-11

Sometimes I think Aaron and I feel guilty about taking a break.  We need to remind ourselves that God showed His intention for us to rest by giving us the Sabbath day to worship and renew our bodies.  Who can keep going and going without rest?  Even the Energizer Bunny has to stop sometime.  As long as we aren't being lazy, rest is important!  

In other news, Haven has taken a few steps backward this week.  She is still dealing with illness that is most likely allergies.  She is taking Claritin, which is not really helping and just started her second round of antibiotics.  Poor Haven just can't shake this snotty nose.  Also, it seems that having so many voices to talk for Haven inhibits her willingness to speak for herself, so she is really not speaking much now that we are home.  I suppose this is to be expected, but we would be appreciative of prayers in this area of her recovery.  When I think too far ahead, I begin to worry about her in this regard, so for now I just keep reminding myself to take one day at a time and not to look too far into the future.  God has already proven that He has a plan for her life.  I choose to trust Him who has cared for her this far to take care of her future (and ours) as well.  He is able! 

I have some very special friends who cared for my precious children while I was unable.  Thanks to Brenda Troyer, Heather Schloneger, and Jen Forrest who each sacrificed one day per week for the last six weeks to care for our children in my absence.  Abby Booth was here with sweet little Zeke twice per week.  Natalie Deckerd filled in twice over her spring break from teaching.  Chris Nelson and her wonderful children also entertained our children for a day.  All of these amazing women provided our children with a safe, caring, nurturing atmosphere so Aaron and I could be with Haven or at work.  Not once did we have to worry about our children while they were being cared for by these women.  Also, we'd like to thank the many people who visited us at the hospital, sent cards, gave money, brought meals, purchased gift cards, lifted us up in prayer, or gave us a word of encouragement.  We're so blessed to call you all friends.  We will never be able to repay you.  What peace of mind you gave us!  Thank you!  

As I close tonight, I pray that God will continue to use Haven's story to bless your lives.  I pray that in some small way you are encouraged by her progress.  God does hear prayers and He is still in the business of performing miracles!  Thank you, Father!  Thank you, friends, for believing and for praying for our girl.  We will try our best to keep you posted at least a couple of times per week.  I know we have some friends out there who enjoy hearing what the Lord is doing in our hearts and in Haven's life. Thanks for reading and keep praying!  

Walkers Out

"O God, You are awesome from Your sanctuary. The God of Israel Himself gives strength and power to the people. Blessed be God!" - Psalm 68:35

Aaron here – at Ronald McDonald House, there's a white board at the office door with each family's name on it. If all members of a family are out Then you are supposed to move your magnet to the "out" position. Today, after three weeks of residing at RMH, the Walkers moved their magnet to the "out" position for the final time. I'm so thankful to again have all of my children and my incredible wife home together under one roof!
Today in therapy one of Havens therapist called her progress "amazing". I agree with her and I must give all of the credit to our amazing God. "Amazing" is a word that we try to reserve in our home to refer to just God. He is truly amazing and He has performed an amazing miracle in Haven's life and in our family.
For now, Walker out.

Tumbles and Tantrums

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."  

~Philippians 4:6

This is our final night at Ronald McDonald House (RMH).  Tonight I am blessed to be surrounded by the people I love most in this world; my family.  There are three kiddos sleeping on the floor, one on a cot, my husband is in a twin bed, and I have a little cuddle bug cozily snuggling up next to me on the pull out couch.  The room is filled with sounds of deep breathing, snoring, the whirring of a fan, and silence.  This is my favorite time of day.  I love my children, but I love quiet time too!  There has not been much of that in my life lately, so I am thankful for every tiny moment of quiet.

As I write this evening, I am slightly anxious about tomorrow because I have so much to do.  For various reasons we are leaving RMH tomorrow even though Haven still has one more day of day therapy on Friday.  The main reason we chose to leave is due to the fact that there are many other families waiting for our spot here at RMH.  By vacating tomorrow, another family who needs it more than we do can have peace of mind.  Also, Aaron is here with me tomorrow, so I have a great deal of help packing the van and cleaning our room/bathroom before it's time to leave. I am at peace with the decision to depart a day early, but not at peace with the amount of work that needs to be completed before tomorrow is through.  I need to pack up all of our junk here, clean the room, and unpack the junk at home tomorrow.  Whew!  I think tomorrow will be a pizza night at the Walker's.  

Today was an emotional roller coaster for me.  Haven was measured for some orthodic inserts for her shoes on Monday to help with some minor foot issues she is having.  Today she used them for the first time.  I think they were a bit difficult for her to get used to because she fell alot more than  normal today.  At lunchtime here at RMH, Haven stumbled backward, tried to catch a wooden chair to correct herself, and ended up falling down, hitting her head on the wood floor, and pulling the chair onto herself in the process.  She has two nice sized bruises on her forehead now.  I'm  thankful she didn't need to go to the ER for stitches or a concussion!  

Our schedule was weird today too.  Haven had two hours of therapy in the morning, a two hour lunch break, and then two more hours of therapy in the afternoon.  She was uncooperative during some of her sessions today.  I realized that she was trying to use me to get out of doing her therapy when she crawled onto my lap to give me hugs and kisses during occupational therapy, so I ended up leaving her alone with the therapist today.  It helped her to work better, so I'm glad I left.  It seemed weird to leave her after all of the times that I've been in the sessions with her, but today she did better without me there.  Unfortunately, that meant that I didn't get to see her therapists work with her.  I like to watch so I'll know how to help her at home.  

You can tell your child is feeling better when you need to start disciplining them again.  Haven became so disagreeable today that I had to correct her several times.  Obviously she is pushing me to see if the pre-surgery boundaries I set are still in effect.  Several times today I assured her that nothing has changed.  I'm so thankful she's feeling better, but I have not missed our daily 'battles of the will'.  

Eden started feeling ill yesterday.  Today she was pretty miserable with her stuffy nose and tired body.  I encouraged her to use every opportunity she could get for resting.  Aaron brought her allergy medication this evening.  I think she'll feel much better in the next day or two.

Today was my mom's birthday, so we left Akron and headed for dinner at Papa Bear's in Canton.  It was nice to leave Akron for awhile.  It was nice to see my mom, dad, and grandmother too.  What a blessing to have had the support of my family throughout this trial.  What a fun night we had too!

Sorry for the basic information tonight.  I'll try to do better another time, but for this night, I'm headed to bed.  I'm tired from our busy day full of tumbles and tantrums.  I'm so thankful for God's grace that he provides each day.