So Thankful

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful.  Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.  And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."  
-Colossians 3:15-17 

"I will sing of the love of the Lord forever.  With my mouth I will make His faithfulness known to all generations."  -Psalm 89:1

When we first met Haven she was wearing cheap hot pink sandals with a cartoon bunny in the center of each shoe that were about two sizes too large.  She had difficulty walking in them and they made this sort of slapping sound as she walked.  I remember Haven's reluctance to allow us to remove her shoes later that emotional day.  She wasn't too thrilled when we touched her sandals and absolutely rejected our attempt to place them in the closet with our shoes.  Instead, we ended up strategically placing her plastic shoes in a location where she could see them from any place in the room.  Aaron and I both were dismayed that day by Haven's over-sized footwear and decided right away that our newest family member must have properly fitting shoes as soon as possible.  While we were in Nanning (the city where we took possession of Haven), we simply couldn't find any shoes in her tiny size, so we watched our tiny peanut flop around in her funny bunny shoes for five days until we reached the promise of better shopping in Guangzhou.

Our family visited many different little shops before we finally found a pair of light pink, silk ballet flat slippers with colorful embroidery, tiny beads, and sequins all over them that were small enough to fit Haven's tiny little feet.  I pray that I never forget the look of thankfulness and delight on my sweet daughter's face as we put those pretty little shoes on her feet for the first time.  I will always cherish the memory of seeing Haven's unwavering gaze stare at her own beautifully clad tootsies while walking several blocks back to our hotel.  And of course she cried when it was time to remove them for bath time later that evening!

So, from her very first moments with our family, Haven has always been such a thankful child (a pretty remarkable quality for a two year old).  I'm unsure if it is the result of her humble beginnings or if God knitted gratitude into her little personality from the very beginning.  As Haven began learning to communicate in her new language, we taught her a sign for the words thank you.  Frequently, Haven used that sign or would smile one of her gorgeous deep-dimpled smiles at us to show her appreciation.

When we first learned of Haven's stroke, we were told that one of the many places it affected was the part of the brain that deals with emotions.  Haven was so anxious, so inconsolable, that no one was sure if we would ever see our little gal's smile again.  When that wonderful day finally came - when we once again saw her sweet smile and heard her little laugh - it filled our hearts with such joy!  Just yesterday I had the privilege of putting shoes on Haven's feet for the first time since her surgery and helped her practice walking - and I was filled with such thankfulness upon seeing her grateful eyes and deep dimples smiling up at me again.

Through Haven's stroke, I have come to learn more about thankfulness than I thought there was to know.  My heart rejoices in thanksgiving each time I see the tiniest baby step of improvement in Haven's condition.  I can't help being grateful that after missing all of her 'first moments' as an infant, I get to experience them this second time around.  I have the blessing of cheering her on, encouraging her, loving her through her anguish, and supporting her through this tough time.  I am privileged to dry her tears, to hold her hand, to hear her cry, to bond with her like she would never allow me to before.  My cup overflows!!!  And, I am SO changed!!!  I actually find myself rejoicing - even in the dark moments of despair that sometimes creep in when I'm alone at night in this hospital room with nothing to do but reflect, think, and plan.  REJOICING!!!

God, is this your fingerprint?  Did you allow this trial to happen to us because you knew it would turn our hearts toward You - that we would become more grateful and appreciative of all the moments you gave us together and will continue to bless us with - that Haven would bond with us and trust us more completely than she could have if she had remained well?  Thank you...Thank you...

Medical Update:
Haven continued to progress in all three therapy sessions today!  In OT she is reaching for and grasping items, in PT she stood and walked a lot (with support--she still has little balance.)  In Speech she had several more words come back: "bye-bye", "in", "Mama", etc.  She is eating blended foods very well now and we hope that this is the beginning of the end for the feeding tube.